Why birth should be like Love Island without the cameras!
When summer comes along, for many of us, Love Island is the reality TV watch of choice. When watching this series, Ive realised just how much the show does relate to the whole birth scenario! They all come into the villa single, with a desire to find love and connection with their perfect match. Perhaps there is some fear surrounding the unknown of who they may be coupled up with? This can make the islanders feel uncomfortable and out of control. There is a certain insecurity that this can bring, just like birth. The fear of the unknown can feel bigger than the desired outcome at times.
However, when they are coupled up, they are faced with challenges in which they have to work together as a team. Reducing the fear and doubt is a big part of succeeding in this process. In hypnobirthing, we talk a lot about how fear can impact pain levels. If we are fearful, then control can go out the window. When we are confident, we can feel empowered in our choices. Choosing the right partner for the process can determine if you will sink or swim!
During birth, you and your birthing partner are just the same. Working as a team can involve some challenges that you may need to overcome, but if you have a strong foundation, then anything becomes possible. Fully understanding how you can work together really stacks the odds in your favour of getting the birth you want, just like winning the tasks on the programme. In our NHS, midwives aren’t always available to give you all the support you may need, that’s why your birth partner needs to be armed with practical and emotional support to.
When you trust that your birth partner is able to communicate on your behalf, you have the best chance of a calm, comfortable and efficient birth (Hollie de Cruz)
Islanders can also keep their options open of who they want to couple up with which is no bad thing. When it comes to birth prep, our options and plans are just as important. If you have no plan B or strategy, how can you feel secure if plan A goes out the window? Exploring your options, and thinking about what you might do in a certain situation can make you feel a lot more prepared and empowered. This then reduces your fear, because you have already considered it, and confronted the feelings that making that decision might bring.
Molly- Mae once said to Tommy Fury on the 2019 show that he made her feel safe and looked after during the coupling up process. That feeling is super important and a valid one! This is exactly what you need from your birth partner and you don’t have to be in love for that feeling to be there. It could be your sister, your mum, a friend or another relative that makes you feel that way at your birth. You may wonder why that is so important? If we feel safe and looked after, then this gets the correct birth hormones working. We release a hormone called oxytocin when we feel loved, safe and secure. We need this hormone to enable the big uterus muscle to contract and get that baby out. On the flip side, if we have a birth partner that brings an element of adrenaline into the room, then these cocktail of hormones don’t work as effectively. Birth is all about a feeling, and you never forget on that day how the people surrounding you in that situation made you feel! This includes your birth partner and any health professionals involved.
Our environment during birth is also just as important. Now we know that on Love Island, cameras are everywhere. Being observed by anyone, and in this case the public can change behaviour. If we feel that we that we are being watched, then this can hold us back. We don’t produce the correct hormones to keep us calm. Hence my reason why I say birth isn’t favourable to cameras being in the way. It needs to be private and unobserved. However, what we can learn from the Love Island villa environment is that if we forget about the cameras, the surroundings actually promote lots of positive vibes.
There are plenty of fairy lights, a pool for relaxing, areas of dim lighting, exercise facilities and lounging chairs. The islanders are free to move around the villa with no restrictions about where they want to be within that space. When we are in the birthing space, we want to be able to freely move to wherever we feel most comfortable. The bed in a hospital setting always seems to take centre stage when really we need to see beyond this. Think about how you can remain in a UFO position (upright, forward and open). That might be by using a birthing ball, being on hands and knees or kneeling on the bed instead of lying on it. You may have seen some of the girls receiving massages by the guys in the villa. In hypnobirthing, we talk about soft touch massage and why it’s a key aspect of the labour process. It helps you to relax and switch off from your conscious mind, so you can focus inwards and keep the adrenaline at bay. All these little things can make a big difference!
So if you are pregnant, have a think about how you can make your environment calm and magical. Think about how you can get your birth partner involved to keep you feeling safe and be your advocate. Love island may not be a complete reality, but it certainly shows us that having some fun and being able to create some happy vibes is where its at when it comes to birth. At the end of the day, a great birth is one that made you feel all of these things, as you will never forget the one day in your life when your baby is born!
If your interested in how hypnobirthing can explore all of these topics, and make you feel super chilled and prepared, then please don’t hesitate to contact me
